Halloween and eating disorders may seem like a recipe for disaster. Piles of candy lying around plus the general chaos of Halloween is not a recipe for success. Still, you aren't at the mercy of the occasion. You can make choices that can turn the day from trap to triumph.
At Home: Eating Disorders and Halloween Candy
What to do? If you're going to be at home, you have to decide whether to have candy in the house. Candy in the quantities Halloween demands is likely to be a big trigger for various eating disorder behaviors.
It may be obvious that if you struggle with binge eating and possibly purging (binge-eating disorder and bulimia), candy may be a trigger to eat. But if you're more likely to restrict food, as in anorexia, candy will still often be a trigger. When you are able to distribute candy to dozens of happy trick-or-treaters, you can demonstrate your will power in not eating it, giving others satisfaction while ignoring yourself. This is one of the most powerful dynamics present in anorexia nervosa, reinforcing a harmful thought pattern: "I can help you, but I don't need your help."
Some readers may wonder why I wouldn't recommend having candy in the house for binge eaters when I'm such a big fan of intuitive eating, in which you're encouraged to eat what you want and let your body tell you what it needs. The reason is that you aren't likely to have the time and space to listen to your body. Grabbing bites between rings of the doorbell doesn't allow for being attentive to your eating. Why set yourself up for frustration?
Another option: If you'll be at home and you intend to hand out something to kids, give them each a small toy instead of candy. It won't be what they expect, but I doubt they'll be too disappointed.
Halloween and Eating Disorders Collide Via Your Own Kids
It may be even tougher to handle the piles of candy when you have to take your own kids out to collect them. The kids keep getting more and more, and you don't. If you binge, you may feel a powerful envy that could eventually be released in a special trip to the grocery store. If you restrict, you can feel especially powerful in the sense of deprivation.
In both cases, it's a great idea to plan a Halloween activity for yourself that has nothing to do with Halloween or candy (or the kids). To capture the spirit and essence of Halloween, make it a personal escape. Book a day at a spa. Take a drive to a beautiful place. Explore a new part of town. Whatever it is, let it be for you.
Thinking Outside the Halloween Candy Bag
Who said you have to bow to Halloween traditions at all? Other possibilities:
- Just don't participate: Are you being antisocial if you turn off the porch light and watch a movie? I don't think so, especially if it's a choice between adding stress to your life in lieu of treating yourself with genuine kindness. Enterprising kids will find plenty of candy; you don't have to be there for them. But do invite others over, or respond to an invitation to relax with friends.
- Have your own party: Celebrating on Halloween night doesn't have to mean doing "Halloween things." But if you're alone while everyone else is having fun, you're more likely to develop feelings of loneliness that can reinforce disordered eating patterns. Why not plan your own event? The best part: You get to decide on the refreshments, so you serve foods that are enjoyable but not triggers for you. Here are some great resources for planning: If you're a teen and want to have a party, but your parents have to sign off on it, tell them why you want to have it and how they can help you plan so that you won't have problems with triggers.
- Get out of the house with a friend: Rather than meeting 1,000 people on your doorstep for 10 seconds each, get some coffee with one friend for a couple of hours. And go with a purpose like getting to know that friend better. You can even think of a question or two in advance that you've always wanted to ask. If your friend is surprised, blame it on Halloween: "Yeah, I thought I'd ask you some scary questions in honor of the day." Just don't be surprised if you end up answering questions yourself.
- Get help on a project: What's this option doing here? I'm talking to those of you who spend your time avoiding and restricting food. What would it be like to ask someone to come over and fix your car, or to do something else for you that you'd like to have done but don't know how to do? Maybe you need some furniture moved or a room painted. Of course, this has nothing to do with Halloween. But clearing a big hurdle like this might make the day feel special anyway.
Make Choices to Be Kind to Yourself Despite the Eating Disorder
Regardless of the choices you make, be sure to make choices. One of the most surefire ways to get into trouble on a day where food is plentiful or threatening is just to "let the day happen to you." Even if the day doesn't go as planned, having a say in it can prepare you for better days ahead.
