When summer arrives, it brings a host of body image concerns for many. Clothing gets lighter as we try to stay cool, and that often means that we reveal more of our bodies. It can be a scary thought. So what do you do when you think you're not fit to be seen on the beach (or in the pool, or on the street)?
You probably try to "lose a few pounds." And then your chances of feeling down ... go up.
How "Getting a Summer Body" Wrecks Your Summer
Okay, let's suppose you've decided that you aren't going to start your summer until you drop ten pounds. So you work on losing weight aggressively - through exercise, or restriction of food, or even purging after eating. A couple of months go by, you're in the middle of summer, and you've lost the weight. Now what?
There are two possibilities, and neither of them are good:
- No one notices, and the attention you get is still negative.
- Someone - maybe even an important person - does notice and treats you differently.
The first scenario is obviously bad. There's no guarantee that you will get the reactions you want; body changes are not reliable ways to get other people to like you.
But the second scenario is prickly, too. If the behavior of others toward you changes dramatically with the shape of your body, you may have trouble trusting others' appreciation of you. Is it you, or your body? Plus, you now have an idea of how to make others treat you in ways that you like. That puts major pressure on your eating habits. You may think that you must eat a certain way to get the relationships you want. And pressure on eating tends to trigger or reinforce eating disorder behaviors.
Beating the No-Win Summer Body Image Issue
When you're tempted to lose weight for summer, ask yourself what your real reason is. It may take some thinking.
For example, you want to look better. Okay. Why do you want to look better?
You want to look better so that you can be more confident socially. Great...why would you want to function better socially?
You want to feel better in social situations so that you will make more friends (or better friends). Making friends is an excellent goal. What do friends do for you?
You realize that you won't feel as lonely or bored if you have better friends.
Now we're getting somewhere! So you want to lose weight to avoid feeling lonely or bored. That may sound funny. But it will be good to recognize this kind of thinking if it's there for you, because then you can make choices that will get you there much more quickly than losing weight will.
Rather than hoping that insensitive people will stop making silly comments about your body, you can focus your attention on finding much better people to be your friends! And when that's your goal, you can start your summer right now - and be involved in the whole season.
