It isn't enough to acknowledge that those with eating disorders treat their bodies poorly. The usual reaction to a person with an eating disorder is to think, Why doesn't she (or he) just stop it? Not so easy. But let's suppose that you're tired of how you treat your body in your disordered eating behaviors. So what do you do instead of those behaviors? What can you do actively to treat your body well?
The possibilities are endless, but they don't readily come to mind for those with eating disorders. Here are some ideas.
Treat Your Body with a Bubble Bath and Lotion
One of my favorite stories of self-care is from author Anne LaMott (sadly, I don't remember the book in which she includes this story). After feeling shamed in the presence of three young women with "perfect bodies," she was perfectly set up to go home, put on grubbies and get out the ice cream. Instead, she opted for a bubble bath, followed it with liberal amounts of her favorite lotion and put on some clothes that made her feel feminine and beautiful. This kind of behavior really challenges the internal voice of disordered eating. Even if you don't believe you deserve it, it's still healthy.
Make Your Hand Soap a Treat for the Body
Because we wash our hands often, your soap can be a frequent source of enjoyment. It's inexpensive, convenient and just a bit luxurious.
Get Therapeutic Touch with Massage
I believe that those who seek massage are making a significant investment. For some, it's simply a way to receive healthy touch. For those with body image issues, it can feel riskier. If there is any history of physical or sexual abuse, massage can seem even more difficult to embrace. In these situations, finding that you're not magically excluded from being treated because of your perceived body shape or your personal history can be very therapeutic.
Treat Your Sense of Smell with Aromatherapy
Different scents appeal to different people, but most of us know certain aromas that make us "melt" a little with enjoyment. If aromatherapy products that mimic food are problematic, try using herbal scents or other alternatives. Think lavender, jasmine, sandalwood, eucalyptus or other nonfood scents. You may have personal favorites that don't exist in stores.
Relax Into Manicures, Pedicures and Facials
If you can afford and make time for a full-blown spa treatment, great! Many of us, though, have to be a bit more conservative with both time and money. A number of my clients enjoy facials, manicures and pedicures periodically. This highly accessible treat is inexpensive, it includes attentive touch and it can enhance your sense of beauty without feeling as though you've gone overboard.
Exercise Without Punishment
Exercise is clearly good for our bodies in so many ways — the heart, lungs, muscles and bones, among others, benefit tremendously. It's also energizing. The benefits dim, however, when a person's reasons for exercising are based on a sense of obligation or even self-hatred. If you're exercising to an internal background recording of "you're fat and worthless; everyone in here is thinner than you. And the sweat pattern on your shirt is stupid too," then you may have a lot more to gain from exercise than you're getting. Think of your exercise time as a gift to yourself — an investment in you — instead of a punishment. If that doesn't work, try going for a walk intentionally paced for leisure.
Treat Your Eyes to Pleasing Views
There are so many ways to treat the eyes. Drive or hike to a place with a view you like. Check out an art museum. See a sunset (or sunrise). Or if you enjoy making art, create something new for your eyes to enjoy. Seeing the world through a camera lens can be a good way to sharpen your eye to the beauty around you.
Drink Up a Coffee Treat
Maybe it's just because I live in Seattle, but good coffee carries with it a unique enjoyment. And a coffee shop, if you're so inclined, may provide an added bonus by providing an enjoyable atmosphere. Don't want caffeine? The smells, flavors and warmth are all just as comforting and available with decaf. Just use a roast and grind you really enjoy: Dumping instant coffee into a mug full of microwaved water isn't likely to cut it.
If you don't like coffee, you're still in good shape, because you can get the same level of enjoyment from tea.
Groom and Dress Well
Maybe you hate shopping for clothes, because you don't like the way you look. If you've ever felt excited about new clothes, though, remember what a treat it is to feel good in this way. I think the first key here is wearing clothes that fit. If you're wearing something undersized or oversized, you'll be more aware of the problem than how nice the clothes may otherwise be.
And I don't just mean clothes you may wear for occasions. For example, if you exercise, do you like your workout clothes? If you're spending more time during the week in clothes you hate (or just tolerate) than in clothes you like, consider a wardrobe revamp. No cash? Try About.com's budget style site. And if you truly are plus-sized, you're cheating yourself by not looking in to another About.com oasis -- Meieli Sawyer's plus-size fashion site.
The Time to Bless Yourself Is Now
Don't wait until you feel as though you deserve these treats. That eating disorder voice within you will continue to tell you that you don't. I believe it pays to say, "Whether I think I deserve this hand soap or not, I'm here, I can afford it and I'm going to do it anyway." Defying the voice is an excellent step in kicking it out for good.
