A support group can be a powerful tool in eating disorder recovery. The key is to find one that meets your needs. Support groups vary a great deal, so it pays to do some homework before you commit to attending on a regular basis.
Your first task will be to talk with the support group’s leader. This person will be your main source of information. Get specific with your questions so that you’ll know what to expect. That will give you enough information to attend the group for a trial run before you make your final decision. Here are some questions to ask before you go and tips on what to watch when you get there.Who Is Involved in the Eating Disorder Support Group?
- Who facilitates the meetings? Most eating disorder groups are led by a professional; some are led by peers. Twelve-step groups like Overeaters Anonymous and Eating Disorders Anonymous are peer-led groups.
- How many people are in the group? Groups that have ten people or more may be too large—depending on the format, you may get lost in the crowd. But if the group is too small (two or three members), it may become so informal that it has no structure.
- Are friends and spouses welcome? You may want to bring someone you trust to the group to get another opinion on whether the group would be good for you.
What Will Be the Support Group's Topics for Discussion?
- What eating disorders and concerns do people in the group have? You may feel out of place as the only person with bulimia nervosa in a group in which no one purges, for example.
- What topics are discussed? How does the group keep from talking about disordered eating “techniques”? This is so important. Discussion topics should be focused on recovery and mutual support. A group that drifts into discussion of disordered eating techniques (for example, how to keep others from seeing that you are restricting food) will not be helpful. It will hinder your recovery.
What Is the Support Group's Philosophy?
- What is the group’s philosophy on eating disorders? This should match your perspective. Does the group consider an eating disorder an addiction? A disease? Is there accountability in the group? Is it focused more on emotional support?
- What is the meeting format? Some groups offer everyone a chance to speak each week and encourage it. Some will focus more on one person each week.
With Your Questions Answered, Get a Feel for the Group in Person
There’s no substitute for experience. Visit a group three times before making a decision about it. Each group is different, and so is each meeting. You may catch the group on an especially good or bad night and form an opinion that isn’t accurate.
While you’re there, watch how the group interacts. Are members respectful? Participate if you can. How do they handle your presence there?
Also, now that you’ve found the meeting location, decide whether you can attend routinely—even on your worst days. If getting to the group takes extra energy (for example, driving seventy miles), you will find extra reasons to miss it.
Feel Freedom to Try Other Groups
Shop around if you can! Compare how different groups operate and check in with yourself to see how you felt at each one. The leader and group members are people you want to be able to grow to trust. You might like the leader of one, but not the other group members. Or vice versa. But it’s your decision. Make the decision to join a group that seems right.
Give a Group a Chance
Finally, you may have the sense that there is no group that could possibly meet your needs. If this is true for you, promise yourself that you will attend a group for at least eight weeks. In that amount of time, you will have a chance to know something about the lives of other members, and you will probably find similarities between your life and at least one other person’s.
By staying in a group, you are giving yourself a chance to form solid relationships, which may have been taken from you by your eating disorder. This is a powerful step toward recovery.
